SSB SpinOffs 1
by LegoMink
Summary: Little, fun spin-offs of SSB. All from imagination. Enjoy. It's done!
1. Learning The Ropes

**Super Smash Bros. Spin-Off**

_Episode 1 – War Games_

Part 1

Learning the ropes

MH: Yeah, yeah, shut up Crazy. Hello smashers!

Smashers: hi….

MH: Glad you're all happy.

Link: whatever you say…

MH: Anyway, in case you haven't noticed, it's the games today. So, let the war games BEGIN!

MetaKnight: Ooo, yay! Time to establish my own independent nation. META KNIGHTIA! Kirby, you can be my – Kirby? Kirby! KIRBY!

Kirby: What? Kirbtopolis is an independent nation!

MK: Kirb…topolis?

Kirby: That's us!

MK: Wanna join Meta Knightia?

Kirby: I shall consider it.

MK: Yes or no?

Kirby: Okay!

MK: Wow. That was easy.

Kirby: It's your first take over. Don't settle in with this difficulty though – it'll get tougher as you progress throughout the game.

MK: Game? What game?

Kirby: Allow me to present the Game Menu.

First you have the _**Town **_view, where you can check your empires res. And other stuff.

Empire

Gold: 500

MetaKnightia: 100

Kirbtopolis: 400

Resources: 500

Luxury Resources: None Yet

As you can see, you started with 100 gold, but signing treaties with us gave you 400 more gold.

Then you have your _**Military **_view, where you can check your troops.

MetaKnightia –

0 Spears

0 Swords

0 Bows

0 Knights

0 Rams

0 Catapults

Kirbtopolis –

0 Spears

0 Swords

0 Bows

0 Knights

0 Rams

0 Catapults

Lastly you have your _**Diplomacy **_view, where you can see your treaties or allies.

MK: Wow, that's pretty complex.

Kirby: It always is at first. Come on, let's start the game!

MK: Where do we go next?

Kirby: Well, our people have met –

Hyrule (Link, Zelda)

Altea (Marth)

Crimea (Ike)

And SkyWorld (Pit)

It is recommended you visit –

Military – Crimea

Diplomacy – Altea

MK: Well, I think I'll visit Altea. Get to know my surroundings.

Kirby: Let's go!


	2. Diplomacy at it's Crappiest

**War Games**

**Part 2 **

Diplomacy at it's crappiest.

MK: Are you certain this is a good idea Kirby? Just barging in?

Kirby: Can't think of anything better to do.

MK: Good reason. Let's go.

(CRASH!)

Marth: What the hell is going on?

MK: Hello, Marth. We're here to do a little 'diplomacy'.

Kirby: Behold…Meta Knight! Ruler of MetaKnightia!

Mk: And this is Kirby, my Economy Ruler and Second in Command.

Marth: What do you need?

Kirby: Stop! I need to introduce you two to a little thing called the Diplomacy Screen.

There are 4 options you can respond to this with, Meta Knight.

_Peace_

_Treaty_

_Military Action_

_Consult Advisors_

Right now, you'll want to do either Peace or a Treaty. It's up to you. I would recommend Peace. You could sign a _Open Borders _treaty after that, so you could send troops through without declaring war.

MK: Marth, do you agree to my kind offer of peace?

Marth: Why not? It is accepted.

MK: Score!

Kirby: Check your _**Town **_view now.

**Town View**

**Treasury – 1200 Gold**

**Resources – 2000**

**Luxury - None**

**MetaKnightia**

**Gold Prod. – 300 GPH (Gold per Hour)**

**Res. Prod. – 150 RPH (Res. per Hour)**

**Kirbtopolis**

**Gold Prod. – 500 GPH**

**Res. Prod. – 200 RPH**

**Altea**

**Gold Prod. - 100 GPH**

**Res. Prod. – 200 GPH**

MK: Hey, how come –

Kirby: Kirbtopolis is an economical nation. Yours is a Militaristic nation, while Marth's is the third one – Cultural.

MK: That answered it. So, does Altea have any Military?

Kirby: 10 spears. They ARE cultural.

MK: How did they get troops?

Kirby: They built a **Barracks.**

MK: Ah, that's the place where you can train troops.

Kirby: Go to _**Town **_view and select MetaKnightia. Set them building **Barracks.** Then tell Kirbtopolis to do the same.

MK: Hey, who's the leader?

Kirby: I'm a **Domestic Advisor. **So I can tell you what's important and what to do next.

MK: Great. Kirby telling me what to do.

Kirby: Basically, yes. (smiles)

MK: So, come on! What do we do next?

Kirby: We could gain **Points **by constructing buildings, or we could take over another country.

MK: Hmm….tough choice.

Kirby: We could always go to Crimea to get us some troops. We have received word that they have already got Swords.

MK: One question – how do you gain more troop types?

Kirby: By **upgrading **your Barracks!

MK: Okay. Marth?

Marth: Yes?

MK: Come with me and Kirby to Crimea.

Marth: Whatever…okay.


	3. Inbox

**War Games**

**Part 3**

Inbox

MK: Marth, you can be my guard.

Marth: Okay! Good god, I'm a ruler! I deserve to boss myself around! YOU HEAR ME?!

MK: Whatever, girl-boy. Now, Kirby, any communications?

Kirby: Isn't that what the **Diplomacy**__**View **is for?

MK: I don't want to read all that – oh fine! I'll abide by your stupid 'Browser Game' rules!

**Diplomacy View**

**Allied Nations:**

**Kirbtopolis**

**Altea**

**Treaties:**

**Trade Treaty with Kirbtopolis**

**Messages (2):**

**Sender Subject Date .**

**Kirby Empire Update 31/10/08**

**To: MetaKnight**

**Subject: Empire Update**

The empire seems to have grown 5 **sizes **since we(me and Marth) last contacted you. Troops are good enough, we have to advance from spears, though. Funds are excellent, and resources are great. We have acquired a luxury – wine. 

See you later,

Kirby.

**Crimea Treaty? 31/10/08**

**To: MetaKnight**

**Subject: Treaty?**

We have received word of your recent success. We, Crimea, salute you. So, we propose a) Peace from you and your allies, while you get our Military Protection and b) Assistance in our war with Crazy Hand's Nation. 

Please come to my palace in Crimea to negotiate.

Ike.

MK: That's my inbox?

Kirby: Pretty much. You do get more mail once you meet other nations.

MK: Good, I don't want to stay with only 2 messages in my Inbox.

Marth: Anyway, we better get started to Crimea.

Kirby: We'll sign an **Open Borders **treaty between us, in exchange for 50 of your luxury.

Marth: 50 Sulfur then. Here.

MK: Thanks. Come on, Kirby, girl.

Marth: I have RIGHTS!

MK: But we have LEFTS! Lefts!

Marth: Ugh…do I have to KEEP following you?

MK: Shut up!


	4. Crimean Negotiations

**War Games**

_Part 4_

Crimean Negotiations

Marth: Now, Ike's my best pal, so don't - ah!

MK: Shut up, girlyboy. We're just meeting with Ike so we can upgrade our military.

Kirby: And for his resources.

MK: Those too.

Ike: Welcome, humble Meta Knight. I hope you are comfortable.

MK: Cut the crap Ike, you know why we're here.

Ike: Alright, if you're going about this THAT way, we'll do this like men and woman.

Marth: HEY!

Kirby: Poyo.

Ike: What?

Kirby: Poyo. Poyo. Poyo. Poyo, Poyo….

The Rest: SHUT UP!

Kirby: Poyo! I shall introduce you to **Military Treaties.** These are like Trade Treaties, but these, instead of res. being traded; the receiver receives the Troop Protection or Assistance in battles.

MK: So, I just –

Ike: Will you accept this Treaty, Meta Knight?

Marth: I would recommend taking it, it's additional support in battle.

MK: Only if you join us.

Ike: A small price.

MK: Okay, deal. Nice doing business.

Narrator: _And so, through much negotiating, the Meta Knightian army marched into Crimea. Their leader, Ike, eventually agreed to join MetaKnightia in their quest to conquer all of the nations._

MK: Feels good now, Kirby! My **Diplomacy View!**

Kirby: Aye-aye!

**DiplomacyView**

**Battle Reports (1):**

**Battle For MetaKnightia:**

**Attacker: Samus, Leader of Samia**

**Defender: MetaKnight, Leader of MetaKnightia**

**Victor: The Attacker**

**Samia – 100Spears, 50Swords.**

**Casualties: 30Spears 40Swords**

**MetaKnightia – 30Spears, 100Swords**

**Casualties: All!**

MK: What the hell? I was attacked by – Samus?

Kirby: Mommy Samie?

MK: Yes Kirby. Mommy.

Marth: This is bad. We need to defend ourselves. We need Diplomacy.

Ike: Or Military Actions.

MK: Why, I'll…


	5. The Battle

**War Games**

_Part 5_

The Battle

Kirby: Meta Knight, calm down. We'll use a feature I like to call **Attacking.**

First, you select the empire, then Nation you wish to attack.

**Empire: Samia**

**Nation: Samia**

**Options:**

**Reinforcement**

**Attack: Normal**

**Attack: Raid**

MK: Normal Attack! Let's go!

Kirby: As you wish, your smallness.

MK: What?

Kirby: You said you were to be named your smallness.

MK: Oh yeah.

Marth: I've directed the troops to your command, sire.

MK: Shut up. And great.

Ike: I shall write a message to Samus.

MK: You do that. No one attacks me and gets away with it!

_Accidently, Meta Knight hacked into Ike's messages. What he saw is below…_

**Messages (1):**

**Samus Your Leader 31/10/08**

**To: Ike**

**Subject: Your Leader**

I realise you've let that irritating swine Meta Knight take over Crimea. I ask you, what are you thinking? My empire is much better, and rewarding. *wink* If you're willing to convert, just say the word.

Samus

MK: Oh, my, god. She's mailing Ike and trying to win him over! That's cheating…

Kirby: Meta Knight? Are you okay?

MK: This is no longer about games…this is a battle. Between evil…and evil.

Kirby: So, I got the report. We won.

MK: Taken over?

Kirby: No way.

MK: Then, get started…

Kirby: Aye-aye.


	6. Battle Plans

**War Games**

_Part 6_

Battle Plans

MK: Do we still have troops?

Kirby: **Mil – **

MK: FINE! I'LL NOT ASK YOU AGAIN! Okay?!

**Military View**

**Troops**

**50Spears**

**20Swords**

**10Bows**

MK: Wow, when did we get bows?

Marth: I've been telling your workers to expand the barracks and Town Hall.

MK: Whatever. We're going to take a slight de-tour.

Kirby: We're halting Samia?

MK: Yes, Ike said he'll keep them busy. Girly-boy, tell our troops to alter their stupidity-proof route to Hyrule!

Marth: Argh…yes, 'King'.

Kirby: It's your smallness. That's what you call His Smallness.

Marth: AGH! Second thought, how about smarty-pants Kirby does it all?!

MK: That's not a bad idea. Kirby, take over all of girl-boy's work. Girl-boy, you stay there.

**Messages (1):**

**Samia Attack 01/11/08**

**To: MetaKnight**

**Subject: Attack**

I see your infuriating nation has attacked my peaceful town of Samia. Alas, we've conquered Crimea. *winks* I'll let you join, as long as you **don't **attack anybody else.

Samus.

MK: Kirby! Girl-boy! SHE GOT IKE!

Marth: Threat letter?

MK: Yeah, just read it. Here.

Marth: I see your infuriating…..as long as you don't…….Samus. Yep, threat letter.

Kirby: What are we to do next? Nobody's halting Samia, now that Ike's given in.

Marth: How about bluffing? Send all our troops to Samia, and get them to destroy any defending troops. While our Bows could stay at home and fortify.

MK: Good move. What are they training?

Kirby: Swordsmen for Samia.

MK: Set them training Bows after we've got 150 swords.

Kirby: Sir, we've got 150.

Marth: Then do what he said and train Bows! God!

Kirby: Yes.

MK: Oy…this is a tough job. We'll be marching to Samia in the morning. She's getting annoying…


	7. Talk About a Bad Day at Work

**War Games**

_Part 7_

Talk about a 'Bad Day at Work'.

MK: I'm going to get Samus for this!

Kirby: Meta Knight? You have visitors.

MK: Who the hell is here?!

Link: Having nation troubles?

Zelda: All you had to do was ask.

MK: I was trying, but my troops got destroyed by Samus.

Link: Our technology is far superior to Samia's.

**Achievement Screen! Unlocked Research View.**

**Here is the view where you can tell your scientists to research a topic.**

**You have 4 topics**

**Economy**

**Science**

**Military**

**Culture**

**Each one has its use. Economy helps you find more ways to get gold and keep your population happy.**

**Science yields new buildings and helps to create faster research.**

**Military improves your units armour or weapons, and allows Upgrades.**

**Culture makes your nations grow quicker, and allows citizens to get Jobs, so you get more money (how you ask? I really don't know.)**

MK: Wow, thanks Link.

Link: So, in exchange for our knowledge, you sign a peace treaty. Deal?

MK: Okay, Link. Have it your way.

**Hyrule was added to your Town View!**

**Link became an Ally!**

Zelda: I'm not approving Link. He's not being an ally until I am. And I will never join you. You're plotting world domination!

MK: Am not.

Zelda: Are too.

Link: Zelda, honey, please. He's getting his ass kicked by Samus, and we need help against Ganondorf and Ganonia.

MK: Ooo, fighting!

Marth: Ike is with Samus, will you help us get him back, Zelda?

Zelda: Fine…

**Zelda became an Ally!**

MK: Kirby, what's with the black text?

Kirby: It's the all-new **Notice Screen**! All your notices are put there so you can view them, but also the new ones come in **Bold Text**.

MK: Oh right. Anyway, let's get started. We'll help you Link.

Link: Thanks. Come on, he's attacking as we dawdle!

Marth: As we _speak _Link, as we _speak_.

Link: Whatever.

**Meanwhile, in Samia…**

Samus: Ike, give in!  
Ike: Never. My nation sticks with Meta Knight.

Samus: Well, if you won't break that easy, I guess I'll have to force you…

Ike: Okay, you are _not_ making any sense.

Samus: You'll find I will, eventually.

Ike: What are you doing attacking Meta Knight anyway?

Samus: I guess it can't hurt to tell you. You won't live to share it anyway.

I just want peace.

Meta Knight disturbs the peace by marching around high and mighty, like he's the boss.

I aim to put an end to his war, so I'm taking over…

Ike: You'll never get Meta Knight. He's too good.

Samus: Or is he? He is getting annoying. Besides, I've got my secret weapon…

Ike: You're not planning to show me it, are you?

Samus: Not really. Unless you want death.

Ike: You're going to _kill _Meta Knight? This is a game!

Samus: No, not kill him. Just his empire.

Ike: You're seriously losing me.

Samus: Good.

Ike (to himself) I gotta get out of here. Oh, Meta Knight. Come quickly, I'm about to lose it!


	8. Ganondorf Allies

**War Games**

_Part 8_

Ganondorf Allies

MK: Well, Link, Ganondorf is a pesky pest, isn't he?

Link: Isn't that why we called?

MK: Pretty much.

Marth: The troops are ready, launch the attack?

Link: Yep.

Marth: Gotcha. Oh, and Meta Knight, Samus sent you a message.

MK: Right, I'll delete it.

**Messages (16934):**

**Inbox Status: FOR GOD'S SAKE, STOP GETTING SPAM!**

MK: WHAT THE HELL?!

Kirby: It's spam heaven…or hell.

MK: That is it….it's time.

Kirby: Attack Samia?

Link: After Ganonia.

Kirby: That'll not be too long. I sent along a force capable of destroying the whole Mushroom Kingdom!

MK: Hm…that gives me ideas.

Link: Later. First, see our battle reports for an idea of Ganondorf's forces.

**Battle Reports**

**Hyrule**

**500Spears 200Swords 100Bows**

**Ganonia**

**250Spears 300Swords 150Bows**

**Victor: Hyrule**

MK: Wow, that's a formidable army.

Marth: True…

Link: Our force combined with yours should be good enough to stop him.

Kirby: After this, we'll start on Samia.

MK: Correct.

**New Messages!**

**Messages (1):**

**Ganondorf no subject 01/11/08**

**To: Link**

**Subject: no subject**

I see you are attacking me. A foolish decision. Little do you know, the wrath of Samia will destroy you. And Meta Knight and crew.

The future is Samia's.

Ganondorf.

P.S. Ike is safe, for now. I will not release him until you bow down to me.

Samus.

Link: Well, that sucks.

MK: Don't you think she's going too drastic? I mean, come on. It's a GAME! Not actual war.

Marth: She's going to far allying Ganondorf with her. It's time.

MK: Yep. Kirby!


	9. V20

**War Games 9 **

**V2.0**

MetaKnight: Alright, first, what's with the title?

Kirby: It's…ran Windows Update?

MetaKnight: Ha-ha. Gimme the facts, puffball!

Kirby: Okay! The author updated the graphics…It's all in his WG Update log.

_**Improvements in V2.0**_

Fixed bug that the V1.5 and V2.0 Beta had

Launched V2.5 beta

Graphics improved

Some other really important stuff can be found here.

MetaKnight: Riiiiiiiiight, whatever. Let's move on…

Marth: What you doing, Link?

Link: Bribing Sonicaster and Snakeport into allies.

Marth: Huh. Can I help?

Link: Why not?

Marth: Ooo, you got a message…from…Ike?

Link: Intriguing.

Sender: Ike

Subject: SEND HELP!

Help me you guys! She's making me do stuff…bad stuff. Writing game domination plans, and stuff like that!

HELP!!!

Ike

MetaKnight: What's that?

Marth: SOS from Ike, it seems.

MetaKnight: SOS?

Link: He needs help.

Kirby: It's the call to action! Let's roll!

Link: Me and Marth will sneak inside, to see if we can smuggle Ike out.

MetaKnight: Good. Me and Kirby will support you from the PC room. Good luck, you idiots.

Link: …shut up.

Ike: No! I don't want to!

Samus: Fine. Then Marth and Link, who are hiding behind that pillar –

Link: DAMN!

Samus: Will join you in – Argh!

Ike: Go Marth! Get her!

Link: Ike, run to MetaKnight and Kirby. They'll get you out. Me and Marth will hold off Samus. OK?

Ike: Oh yeah!

Samus: You want something?

Marth: Give it. Whatever it is.

Samus: Don't start what you can't finish, boys.

Link: Argh! My face! It's been tazered with special effects!

Marth: Link!

Samus: See ya soon!

Marth: Darn!

Ike: Can't…run…much…longer…

Kirby: IKE! CAN YOU HEAR ME?

Ike: Kirby! You're right next to me! Stop shouting!

Kirby: OK! Hi!

MetaKnight: Ike, get in. Air Balloon, shut up.

Kirby: Oh, as we speak our armies are slaughtering the Samian troops on the spot.

Ike: Ouch. There's Link and Marth!

Link: Ow, Marth, stop. My face, ow.

Ike: What's with the elf?

Marth: His face got stabbed.

Ike: Ouch.

MetaKnight: OH YES! WE KILLED SAMIA'S DEFENSES! WE RULE!

(the rest of them blew away.)

MetaKnight: Guys? Hello? Where'd you all go?

Kirby: We're under the car!

MetaKnight: Oh.

_End of WG9_


	10. It's the

**War Games 10**

**It's the…**

A note from LegoMink, our 'beloved' president.

_Argh, since one of my bro's stories got removed for being like mine, I'm afraid it's gone to me having to make it like the rest of my stories. Sorry if it's harder to read._

_But, as I was going to end this, an idea came to me. What if I mixed? _

_E.g. the day was dark. Not a soul was to be seen. The only thing that moved was our hero's brave steps in the deep snow._

_Ally: Holy moly this is deep!_

_Unknown Person: Get used to it._

_Ally fell when the voice came. End of 'E.g.'_

_Hey, that actually wasn't bad. Might take that further *smile*. Anyway, I'm done droning on; I suppose you want WG 10. Well, read on. But be aware that WG ends here. Yep, last chapter. But there'll be more spin offs. Trust me._

_LegoMink ---- Golden Monkey!_

The car roared. MK climbed in it speedily. Marth hit the accelerate, and off they sped.

Until, of course, the car got shot by Samus's Power beam.

Link: What's going on?

Kirby: We got shot by Samus.

MK: Alright, this ends now.

MK got out of the vehicle. Kirby, Link, Marth and Ike followed.

Samus: Come on, you expect to win with Puffball, Girl, Elf and Idiot?

MK: If we have to.

Marth: We offer peace, in exchange for you, y'know, NOT trying to defeat us?

Samus: Hmm…okay…

Just then, a speeding blue flash with a dark one followed appeared out of nowhere.

Sonic: Hmm…you sure this is the right place Shadow?

Shadow: I couldn't be more doubtful, but yes…

MK: Who the heck are you two?

Kirby: Blue hedgehog man! Black hedgehog man!

Link: Oh wait, it's Sonic and Shadow!

Sonic: You got that right!

They stared at Samus.

Shadow: So, you were talking about peace?

MK: Yep, until you came in.

Marth: Yeah, that pretty much ruined it.

Ike: You just shattered the tension. The suspense. All gone.

Sonic: Whatever.

Samus seemed to frown at the two hedgehogs. Then she returned her focus to the MK team. She aimed her Power blaster (thingy) down, to where it looked safe. Then she nodded at the MK team and returned her attention to Sonic and Shadow.

Shadow: It would be good to make peace with us. We have treaties with every other nation around here.

MK: I thought we took over Sonic's place?

Sonic: Yeah, then I went to Shadow's, Chaosania.

MK: Right…I accept!

Samus: Same…

A few hours later

MH: Meta Knight wins!

MK: Woohoo!

MH: …second place!

MK: What do you mean, 'second place?'

MH: First place goes to me, as I OWN you! Ha ha!

MK: Why you…

**Begin Classic Mode on ULTIMATEOWNAGE difficulty, with Meta Knight, Kirby, Marth and Link.**

**Player Results: Meta Knight, Marth, Kirby and Link win, with no lives lost or damage.**

**Total time: Who cares? Why are you still reading?**

…

**Seriously, go, watch TV or something.**

…

**Want me to sing Portal end song or something?**

…

**THERE IS NO END SONG**

…

**Ah, forget it.**

…

**It's hopeless.**

…

**I'm bored.**

…

**Okay, I'll stop now.**

…

**Seriously.**

**...**

**STOP SCROLLING DOWN!**

_**The End.**_

…

**I said **_**The End**_**!**

**Okay, seriously, End.**

…

***ugh* you're persistent.**

…

**What do you want?**

…

**The plot for the next SSB Spinoff or something?**

…

**Fine. It is…**

**I have no idea yet. So bye. *smile***


End file.
